When a lot of people get married they assume that they will always feel for each other like they do that moment. The truth is that each marriage goes through many different phases, some of them more enjoyable than others, but in the end it is all worth it because you are moving toward something beautiful. Of course, the last of the phases is something that many people never experience because they aren’t aware that it is just that, a phase, and they get out.

This phase is one of the best because it just feels so darn good! This is the period of your life when your partner seems like they were made for you and you think they are perfect, in fact life may seem perfect. When you are in this stage of marriage you’ll have more energy, you’ll feel great, you’ll have a very positive outlook, and you just can’t get enough of your spouse. This is an exciting time in a marriage because you just can’t stand to be apart and you spend a good deal of your time dreaming of your future together.

The Cooling Off Phase
This is the phase that is responsible for divorce and tension in relationships. Those feel good days of the first phase are beginning to diminish and it is due in large part to chemicals in our brain returning to normal. Because we felt so good in the first phase of the marriage we start to wonder what happened, if we married the right person, and why they no longer make us feel good. A lot of people start to wonder if they should just get out of the marriage rather than live like this.

In this period of the relationship there is often a power struggle. Each person is trying to get their way, set standards, and just be right. In fact many couples struggle with both parties wanting to be right and this causes a lot of tension. The great thing is that this stage only leads to bigger and better things if you can just hold on.

The Sharing and Transformation Phase
If you made it through the second phase chances are that you will welcome the third and fourth phases. The great thing is that when you are in these phases you will realize that the relationship can be wonderful, you just have to take it there.

The person who realizes this first will take the lead and will help the other person begin to feel less anxious and frustrated and over time you’ll both begin working together to ask for what you want, change behaviors, and move toward finding happiness as a couple. These two stages go together because it’s the discovery of how great things can be and then putting into action what needs to change and occur to make it great again.

Time for Real Love
If you get to this phase you will feel as though all of the struggles have been worth it. Every relationship reaches this phase at a different point. For some people it takes 30 years, for others five or ten years. The idea is not to rush to this phase, because it is a process. When you get here you will have a profound connection that is full of joy and passion and you can begin having fun together again, perhaps more than ever.

rodrigo rehn is a relationships expert, linux systems administrator, web programmer, php developer and ceo of faceromance online dating advices for singles.

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